Promise

Wow, I almost forgot to write my blog this week! I'm sorry to those of you who have been checking this weekend and haven't found a new posting. It's ironic that the weekend we didn't have Internet, I wrote a blog, but then when we got our Internet back, I almost didn't write one!

There's a lot going on this month, for me and I'm sure for you also. I suppose I could have just said, "Oh, I don't have anything to say and nobody's going to care anyway." Both of those things might be true, but my stats here at Blogger tell me that at least some people look at this blog every week and I feel I've made a promise to you that I'll post every week, so I'm going to live up to that promise. (I sound like Lamont in Outsider. I'd love to be more like him, so I guess this is a start.)

As you know, my life has changed somewhat since I published Outsider. I've gone through a lot of new experiences, many of them unexpected. I've had to get outside my comfort zone, which isn't always an easy thing for a shy introvert like me. I still have trouble with it, especially when it comes to trying to sell books. (It's hard to be pushy. I don't do that very well.)

But I think there have been some improvements along the way. I'm no longer secretive about my writing and I like to talk/write about it. I know a lot more about copyright and formatting, as well as many other topics. I'm active on at least some social media (still not ready for Twitter).

And I'm less shy. I still have trouble with large groups, especially strangers, and I haven't yet perfected the art of small talk with people I don't know. But I managed to surprise myself last week by doing something I never would have thought possible about three years ago (or maybe even last year!).

My company had its Christmas party on Friday, and after we had food and entertainment, we had some games where various tables of employees (six at each table) competed against each other for cash and prizes. My table didn't manage to win the first one we tried, so we were all ready to take on the next challenge when we were called. We strode up to the front of the room with the other two teams and listened, first with amazement and then with groans, to the challenge: each team had to select one person who would "sing" Christmas carols using "doo doo doo" instead of the words, and the rest of the team had to guess the title of each song. Whichever team got the highest number right would win.

Immediately, everyone in our group said they refused to sing. It was instantaneous! So there we were. That's when I surprised myself: I volunteered.

Let's take a moment, here. This would involve singing (sort of) in front of a group of about 100 or so people. I don't like to sing in front of one or two people! I sing in my car, not when anyone else can hear. I didn't know if I could carry a tune or if I would know any of the songs on the list or if I would freeze.

But I volunteered. The others were relieved and quick to agree. Then we had to go into another room while the other two teams tried it, so we couldn't hear the songs. So I had another five minutes to contemplate my fate. Fortunately, my supervisor had her baby there and I could concentrate on him, not on what I was going to do. I think if the baby hadn't been there, I might have passed out!

Finally it was our turn ... and we did well! I focused on the list of songs instead of all those people listening and my team did a great job of identifying the songs. We ended up tying for first place and lost the "sing-off," but I still thought it was a victory.

There is no way in heaven or on Earth that I could have done such a thing a few years ago. But I guess all those book signings did me some good. I got a little more used to people looking at me and expecting me to say or do something. I don't know. Maybe I'm just getting sillier as I age!

Whatever it is, I have to admit that I'm glad. If I were still that shy, quiet girl that everyone sort of knew, where would I be? Not where I am now, wherever that might be. If I made some people laugh at the party, that's great. If some people thought it was dumb, that's fine.

It's a lot like putting my novels (or my blog) out there. Not everyone will like them ... but I'm sure glad that some people do like them. That makes it all worthwhile.