Reconnecting

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I made my usual trek up to Nebraska to spend time with my family, which makes this one of my favorite holidays. I love my family and I'm always glad when I get to reconnect with them.

During this time, I was able to ask someone who grew up on a farm about how corn grows. At first I was afraid to look dumb, but then I asked the question anyway ... and I got a useful answer. This might not seem important to you, but it was huge for me: the reason I asked about corn is that I'm trying to write a scene involving some characters running around in a cornfield.

That's right: I'm writing a scene! After over a year, I'm starting to reconnect with my characters. There was a dog named Nick in the National Dog Show and I immediately thought of my pilot. I'm starting to think about asking Reg's advice again. I'm trying to look at problems through Lamont's eyes.

What a relief. There were times I thought this would never happen again. It doesn't mean that I'm going to sit down and write my whole fifth novel next week, but now I really am beginning to believe there's a good chance it will get finished.

To those of you who write, I know you've probably gone through writer's block before. Maybe you're going through it now. Believe me, I know how scary it is when you think you're never going to write anything more than an email again ... but I'm here to tell you this: you will get past it! Just keep trying, just keep hoping, just keep writing (even if the result is awful). Remember what it is about your characters or story that excited you in the first place.

I have to laugh at the timing. I'm ready to get to work again, just as I'm getting hit with holiday decorating, gift-planning, baking, parties, etc. But I don't mind. Writing is a gift and I'm going to take some time to unwrap it again.

Have a magical holiday season.

Update on The Other Side

Rewriting The Other Side has taken a lot of time, as you can tell by looking at the calendar. This is the latest I've ever gone without releasing a novel, but I feel I need to take as long as necessary to get it right. I'm sorry for the delay.

Right now, though, I'm formatting. That's good news because it means the rewriting is mostly finished. Yea!

The initial formatting is done because I put together a binder with instructions on how to do it and that really helped. There are a lot of steps involved with margins, gutters, headers, drop caps, etc. and my brain doesn't like to remember all of that after a year so it's nice to have a reference.

That means I'm at the hard part: making it look good. I think I've written about this before. Sometimes when I'm scrolling through the document, I'll see a sentence that has a paragraph at the end of one page and a single word of that paragraph on the next page. It looks terrible!

For example, I found this on one page: Lamont turned on the radio. “This is Captain Ben Lamont asking you to cease fire. Who are you and what

On the next page I have this: do you want?"

That's not the worst example I've seen, but it makes the reading a little awkward. I'll have to check the first page to see if I can remove a word or two so the last part of his question can go with the rest of it.

It's amazing how hard that is sometimes. I've written it the way I want ... and now I have to change it! I'm trying to add words on some pages and remove words on others. It can be frustrating.

I'm hoping to get the bulk of it done this weekend, however. After that I'll get an ISBN and we can move forward!

If you want to review the teasers I've given about the novel, here they are: Teasers

Please remember to spread the word to your friends and family (and complete strangers) about the Penumbra series. Word of mouth is the best way to let people know about it!

Also, if you happened to buy a copy of any of my novels on Amazon, thank you and please consider writing a review there.

Thank you! I'll keep you posted.

Teasers

WARNING: This blog post contains some minor spoilers. If you haven't read Another Shot or In the Shadows, you might consider skipping this one. (The obvious solution is to read them now!)

I just watched a trailer for the new episode of "The X-Files," which will air next Sunday, Jan. 24. It's one of those shows that my significant other and I enjoyed for years. We loved the creativity of the storylines, we enjoyed most (but not all) of the conspiracy theories, we laughed at the corny jokes, but mostly I think we enjoyed the relationship between Mulder and Scully. The trailer makes me think the series will keep those strengths and add some new elements. I'm looking forward to seeing what they can do with it.

It occurs to me that some of you might be thinking of The Other Side in the same way. Will it have the same characters? Will it have the same chemistry? Will I crash another spaceship? Will I be able to do anything new? (I am very aware that crashing another spaceship would not be new, and I think I've managed to avoid it this time!)

Unfortunately, The Other Side won't come out right away, due to some extensive rewriting, but I haven't said much about it ... so maybe it's time to give a few teasers.

First of all, this novel will include the return of Sean Foster. He won't be a major factor in the story, but he will make an appearance. I hope that's good news for you.

We'll need to see how Reggie Hawkins is recovering from what happened near the end of In the Shadows. How inactive has he been? How long can he stay that way? What's his brother like?

If you recall, Lamont's crew had a mission for In the Shadows that they didn't get to fulfill: investigate the new wormhole. This time around, they're going to take a look ... and there will be some unexpected results. What is on the other side?

You'll see a little more of Gwen Radcliffe and pay a return visit to T.J.'s Bar. And you might want to review Another Shot before you read this one, although it isn't necessary.

I think that's all I'm willing to divulge for now. I hope it's enough to keep you interested while I try to finish the novel. I'll keep you posted!

Thanks, as always, for reading my blog. Feel free to leave a comment.

Onward

Happy 2016!

I've done some of my year-end tasks: changed the calendars, taken down the Christmas lights, put away the tree ... oh, and run some year-end sales reports.

Whew. That added a solemn note to my day. If you include all formats of my novels (paperback and Kindle), I sold 78 copies in 2013, my first year at this. That was with only one novel out.

In 2014, I had two novels out and I sold 36 copies in all.

In 2015, I had three novels out and I sold 16 copies in all.

Ouch. Sixteen copies all year! That's not the direction I saw things going. It was easy to feel gloomy about that, and I did for a while.

But then I took a step back. When I first released Outsider, I thought I'd probably sell about three copies (mostly to family). I've sold a few more than three, so I think I can be proud of that.

Besides, sales weren't really the point. I started writing Outsider because I thought it was fun. As I went along, I realized I cared about my characters and wanted to explore them some more, so I wrote a few more novels. At some point in the continuous rewriting of Outsider, I decided it was time to stop doing that, so I published it. I really wanted to share my characters with other people. And I've done that. It's pretty amazing to me that Lamont and Reg and Sean can live in other people's heads, not just in mine. They can do that if people share copies of the novel or check them out of a library, which won't show on a sales report.

So I'm going to do what I was doing before I ran the reports: go back to making The Other Side as good as I can make it. I'm going to fix the problem chapters, determine when I think it's ready and then publish it.

That's what I do. I write and rewrite. If I sell some along the way, that's great. I really appreciate all of you who have bought a copy or two! It would be nice if we could make 2016 better than 2015 ... but if not, that's okay. I'll be working on the fifth one!

Promise

Wow, I almost forgot to write my blog this week! I'm sorry to those of you who have been checking this weekend and haven't found a new posting. It's ironic that the weekend we didn't have Internet, I wrote a blog, but then when we got our Internet back, I almost didn't write one!

There's a lot going on this month, for me and I'm sure for you also. I suppose I could have just said, "Oh, I don't have anything to say and nobody's going to care anyway." Both of those things might be true, but my stats here at Blogger tell me that at least some people look at this blog every week and I feel I've made a promise to you that I'll post every week, so I'm going to live up to that promise. (I sound like Lamont in Outsider. I'd love to be more like him, so I guess this is a start.)

As you know, my life has changed somewhat since I published Outsider. I've gone through a lot of new experiences, many of them unexpected. I've had to get outside my comfort zone, which isn't always an easy thing for a shy introvert like me. I still have trouble with it, especially when it comes to trying to sell books. (It's hard to be pushy. I don't do that very well.)

But I think there have been some improvements along the way. I'm no longer secretive about my writing and I like to talk/write about it. I know a lot more about copyright and formatting, as well as many other topics. I'm active on at least some social media (still not ready for Twitter).

And I'm less shy. I still have trouble with large groups, especially strangers, and I haven't yet perfected the art of small talk with people I don't know. But I managed to surprise myself last week by doing something I never would have thought possible about three years ago (or maybe even last year!).

My company had its Christmas party on Friday, and after we had food and entertainment, we had some games where various tables of employees (six at each table) competed against each other for cash and prizes. My table didn't manage to win the first one we tried, so we were all ready to take on the next challenge when we were called. We strode up to the front of the room with the other two teams and listened, first with amazement and then with groans, to the challenge: each team had to select one person who would "sing" Christmas carols using "doo doo doo" instead of the words, and the rest of the team had to guess the title of each song. Whichever team got the highest number right would win.

Immediately, everyone in our group said they refused to sing. It was instantaneous! So there we were. That's when I surprised myself: I volunteered.

Let's take a moment, here. This would involve singing (sort of) in front of a group of about 100 or so people. I don't like to sing in front of one or two people! I sing in my car, not when anyone else can hear. I didn't know if I could carry a tune or if I would know any of the songs on the list or if I would freeze.

But I volunteered. The others were relieved and quick to agree. Then we had to go into another room while the other two teams tried it, so we couldn't hear the songs. So I had another five minutes to contemplate my fate. Fortunately, my supervisor had her baby there and I could concentrate on him, not on what I was going to do. I think if the baby hadn't been there, I might have passed out!

Finally it was our turn ... and we did well! I focused on the list of songs instead of all those people listening and my team did a great job of identifying the songs. We ended up tying for first place and lost the "sing-off," but I still thought it was a victory.

There is no way in heaven or on Earth that I could have done such a thing a few years ago. But I guess all those book signings did me some good. I got a little more used to people looking at me and expecting me to say or do something. I don't know. Maybe I'm just getting sillier as I age!

Whatever it is, I have to admit that I'm glad. If I were still that shy, quiet girl that everyone sort of knew, where would I be? Not where I am now, wherever that might be. If I made some people laugh at the party, that's great. If some people thought it was dumb, that's fine.

It's a lot like putting my novels (or my blog) out there. Not everyone will like them ... but I'm sure glad that some people do like them. That makes it all worthwhile.

Closet Spaceship Part 15

Sometimes I like to go to Penumbra and just hang out. Sometimes the present gets to be a little much, so I slip away to regroup, recharge, recover. Maybe to escape. Most of the time, the crew can’t see me, which is what I want. I can settle in to watch people without having to interact with them. It’s what introverts do.

But I guess I know the truth: when I’m feeling a little unhappy with humanity, it’s best if I talk to someone who can show me it’s not all bad. I don’t learn anything if I’m by myself.

I was all grouchy and grumbling in the rec area one day when someone sat down in a chair nearby. I didn’t really pay attention because I wasn’t feeling sociable.

“You’ve never come to see me,” said a voice.

I looked up and it was Mark, which surprised me. That’s funny, isn’t it? I didn’t think he’d like me to surprise him, so I avoided him … until he surprised me instead.

“I didn’t know if you’d want me to,” I said.

Mark smiled. “People always say I don’t like surprises.”

“It’s true, isn’t it?”

“Oh, sure,” he said. “But I’m getting a little better at handling them.”

“I’m not so sure I am.”

“I said ‘a little better,’” Mark said. “Not a lot.”

He finally got me to smile.

“Okay,” I said. “Are you here to cheer me up?”

“I don’t think so. I didn’t even know you were here until Gwen said she saw you.”

Gwen. She’s sneaky … and pretty insightful, apparently.

“So are you okay with me being here?” I asked.

“I honestly don’t know,” Mark said. “It’s a little creepy, you have to admit, but you’re not exactly scary.”

“I hope not!” I hesitated, but I think he could tell I was going to say something else because he kept quiet.

“Let me ask you something,” I said. “The hardest thing, I think, is trying to do all of you justice. It’s not always easy to sum someone up, to make a reader see who he truly is. Do you think I’m even close?”

Mark laughed, which wasn’t what I expected.

“You’re asking me?” he said. “I don’t have a clue who I truly am, so how could you? I don’t think you should worry about that.”

“Well, I’m going to,” I said. “I want to get it right. So, seriously, tell me: am I even close?”

He did get serious. “I don’t know. I haven’t read it.”

I sighed melodramatically. “You’re not the only one.”

“I know,” he said. “None of us has.”

“None of you?”

“No. Can you blame us?”

I tried to think of it from his perspective and that’s when I got it: there was no way for me to get it completely right because I can’t know any of them completely. I know a lot more than the average person, but I can’t ever know all of it, so I can’t really know them. And I can only tell what I do know. If the crew tried to read one of my novels, they wouldn’t be able to ignore the glaring omissions.

Besides that, maybe they didn’t want to know what was going on in their crewmates’ heads.

“No, I can’t blame you,” I said. “I think it’s better that way.”

Mark nodded. “I know you’re trying your best. I think that’s all we can ask.”

“You sound like Ben,” I said.

He smiled and stood up. “Thanks.”

Then he walked to the doorway and paused. “Maybe someday I’ll tell you some more. Maybe we all could do that once in a while.”

I blinked at him. “Okay. If you want.”

Inside, I was doing a happy dance. That would be great, wouldn’t it?

Closet Spaceship Part 14

[NOTE: This installment contains a spoiler. If you haven’t read In the Shadows yet, I suggest you read it before this blog.]

It’s easy to find Tim Caswell: if he isn’t fixing the electronics somewhere, he’ll be in the radio studio. I don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner.

I was on the radio sometimes, in college, but the studio didn’t look anything like the one where I found Tim. For one thing, I was using turntables. That’s right: LPs and 45s. I know I’m showing my age, but there it is. I think there was some finesse involved, knowing exactly how far to rotate that disk so the song would start just as I finished introducing it. No countdown timers or anything like that, just a working knowledge of the song.

But Tim knows a lot about music, so I can’t criticize him. It’s kind of strange to think that what’s new to me is old to him, especially since he’s younger than I am. That makes my brain shiver a little bit.

When he saw me, he seemed more curious than anything.

“Are you looking for somebody?” he asked.

“No, why?” I said.

He shrugged. “I didn’t think I’d ever get a visit.”

I sat down. “So I’m kind of like a ghost, then? You never know when—or if—I’ll appear.”

“Kind of like that, yeah.”

“It’s funny,” I said. “That’s how I think of all of you sometimes. There are times when I don’t think you’re ever going to show up again.”

He scowled. “But we’re right here all the time.”

“I know, but I can’t always see or hear you,” I said. “Writer’s block.”

“Oh,” he said. “I understand that. Sometimes I sit here and I can’t think of anything to say.”

“It’s rough, isn’t it?” I said.

He nodded.

I smiled. It’s always nice when I discover something I have in common with one of my characters, at least when it’s something good.

“That was pretty amazing what you did with Devereaux,” I said.

I really know how to kill the moment. Tim immediately frowned and crossed his arms.

“You mean, when I made friends with him and thought he was legit?” he asked.

“No, that is not what I—”

“I know,” he said, “but that’s what I did. I even vouched for him.”

“You know what?” I said. “I did that once, too.”

Tim rolled his eyes. “You vouched for a mass murderer?”

“No, I didn’t, but look, I don’t have the type of job where I run into those. I just run into weasels, crooks and the occasional back-stabber, that’s all. I work in a cubicle.”

“Wow,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Me, too, sometimes.”

Before Tim could ask me for details, I said, “I mean, when you tricked him into talking.”

“Yeah.” Tim inspected his headphones. “Nick was gonna shoot him.”

“Oh, that would have been helpful,” I said. “It’s a good thing Nick wasn’t serious.”

“He wasn’t? But he had the gun and everything.”

I glanced around to be sure we were alone. “He thought he wanted to do it, but Nick isn’t a cold-blooded killer any more than anybody on this crew. Why do you think he made sure the captain saw him? He could easily have shot Devereaux before the captain knew he was there.”

Tim considered that. “I guess you’re right.”

“Nick did it for Reg,” I said, “and you did it for Captain Lamont.”

Tim nodded. “I heard him talking to Martinez. He’s had to do a lot of things, but that would have been too much, beating the truth out of Devereaux. I couldn’t let him do it.”

“You saved a lot of people, Tim,” I said. “Don’t ever forget that.”

“That’s what the captain said.”

“He knows he’s one of them.” I stood up. “I was here to see you, Tim. Maybe I’ll see you again.”

“Okay,” Tim said. “But next time we’re talking about your cubicle.”

Cue the ominous music.

      A good DJ doesn’t talk over the music, so I made a hasty retreat.

Closet Spaceship Part 13

[NOTE: This installment contains a spoiler. If you haven’t read Another Shot yet, I suggest you read it before this blog.]

I’m sure Captain Lamont knew when I was aboard, and he didn’t go out of his way to avoid me, but he didn’t exactly seek me out either … until one day he did.

I was leaning toward a porthole in the dock area, trying to cup my hands tightly around my face so I could see the stars outside instead of reflections from the dock lights.

“You could turn off the lights,” said a voice behind me.

I have to admit that I jumped. I hadn’t heard anyone in the corridor.

“I’m supposed to be an observer,” I said, although I’d just proved how unobservant I can be.

“Is that all?” he asked.

“A recorder,” I said. “And a listener, I guess.”

I could tell he had something on his mind, but I didn’t want to scare him off so I pretended not to notice.

Lamont approached me. “Listening can be useful.”

“So can talking,” I said.

“Sometimes that’s true,” the captain said. “I want to thank you for not letting your visits become too disruptive. I think if you can keep that up, the crew might be a little less skittish.”

“I hope so.” I decided not to tell him about Sean. No need to advertise my spectacular failure there.

Lamont smiled. “Someday you might tell me how you won Nick over.”

“I don’t know that I really—wait a minute,” I said. I didn’t remember seeing the captain anywhere when I talked to Nick.

“I tend to pay attention when there’s shouting in the corridor,” Lamont said.

“Oh,” I said. So much for not being disruptive. “Sorry.”

The captain took a few steps and turned off the lights. “Have a look.”

I turned to stare at the porthole and I think I just sighed. No matter how many times I see it, that view will never get old. I wish I could describe how many stars there were or how beautiful it was with all of the glittering dots of colored light against a black that wanted to swallow them but couldn’t.

“Some people never look at that,” Lamont said. “I try to do it at least once a day.”

I nodded, although he probably couldn’t see me.

“May I ask you something?” he said in a quiet voice.

“Of course,” I said, mostly because it’s what he would have said, but also because I sensed that this was important.

“Some of the crew members have asked me,” he said. “They want to know if you can do anything … I mean, change anything that’s happened.”

Now I could understand why Lamont turned off the lights: I couldn’t see his face. Reggie would want to make Sean part of the crew, Mark would want me to give him more confidence, Nick would like me to fill up his bank account … but they weren’t the ones who were really asking.

“Oh,” I said. It was a tough question. I mean, I could change what I’ve written, but it wouldn’t be true to my characters or the story. So, in a way, I really couldn’t change it.

But how do you explain that? Especially when the captain is asking you to bring his close friend back to life, no matter how indirectly he’s asking. How do you tell him you won’t do it?

I lied: “No, I’m sorry. I can’t change what’s already happened. I only observe.”

After a moment, he said, “I’ll pass that along.”

I heard his footsteps walking toward the corridor and I didn’t have the heart to say any more. I turned to look at the view again, thinking that somehow I didn’t deserve it.

But then I thought about it some more. We’ve all known writers who’ve brought seemingly-dead characters back to life, whether it was for a book, a TV show or a movie, with varied success. Sometimes it seems forced, the writer bowing to the wishes of the readers/viewers.

Now I wonder how many writers have bowed to the wishes of another character.

The footsteps stopped.

“I’m sorry,” the captain said. “I shouldn’t have asked you that.”

“I understand why you did,” I said, “but please don’t do it again.”

He turned on the lights so I could see his face. “I promise.”

Then he was gone.

Leadership

As part of my job, I have to read "training materials," books that claim to teach me about management and leadership. Some of them are yawn-inducing, some are entertaining, and some of them have at least a few good points to consider.

As I read, I think two things: does this apply to me, and does this apply to Lamont?

I've had several managers over the years, some of them memorable and some forgettable. One of them, a man named Tom, stands above the rest as someone I would have done almost anything for. I drove to work through the snow at 2 a.m. because he asked me to update the software. I did what I thought was impossible because he believed in me.

I was a temp when he saw me sealing envelopes. For reasons I'll never fully understand, he asked me to run the company software. I had no background in computers or electronics or anything relevant. And I'll never know why I said yes, except that I was tired of being a temp.

He told me how good my predecessor was and then he gave me the tools to succeed: he trained me in what he knew and gave me a support line number for the rest. Then he stepped back.

I struggled. There was a lot to know and I was ignorant. It wasn't long before I made a major error because I misunderstood a process. When I took it to him, he didn't get mad. He explained why it was a problem and said, "Fix it." I called the help line, we fixed the problem, and I never made that mistake again.

Every time I had a question or concern, he would listen and either find a solution or tell me I could figure it out. He always trusted me to get it done as well as I could. And after a while, he stopped mentioning my predecessor.

When I write about Lamont, I try to include what I learned from Tom (and the less-successful managers I've had). Some of the things I've learned are these: Help your employees succeed any way you can. Give them the knowledge and tools they need. Stand up for them when they deserve it. Trust them but hold them accountable. Listen to them. Set a good example.

I want Lamont to be the boss that everyone wants to work for, just like Tom was.

Thank you for your example, Tom.

Voice

I took an unintentional vacation from writing recently when a virus took root in my throat like some evil alien weed. I felt like a character in a horror movie, although some people probably thought it was a bit of a comedy when I lost my voice and could only blink apologetically at people. My co-worker suggested "interpretive dance," but I made do with sign language and occasional notes on scraps of paper.

It's amazing how much you miss the ability to talk when you lose your voice! I, like many people, completely take my voice for granted until it's not there anymore. Not that I have the most important things to say, but I did miss the ability to express my indignation/joy/irritation/relief/various other emotions when they occurred. Whether anyone else missed it is another matter entirely.

And thus I gained at least some understanding of the fascination for Facebook, Twitter, etc. Typing those little epiphanies and sending them out into the world is a way of expressing ourselves, letting others know that we're here and we have something to say. I know that most of the stuff I post on Facebook is probably ignored, but I post it anyway because it's my way of declaring my existence: I'm Diane and I'm here!
(Did you hear me, Horton?)

I'm not sure I feel the same way about my novels, though. I didn't release them to let everyone know that Diane McCallum exists. I think I released them to let everyone know that Sean Foster, Ben Lamont, Reggie Hawkins and several others exist. The characters had a story to tell and I wanted to share that.

So I'm their voice (even when I'm mute), and as long as they have stories to tell, I plan to pass those along.

Work on the fourth novel continues!

Description of In the Shadows

I got the second proof copy for In the Shadows five days early! That means I have something to do all weekend, which is too bad because the weather here in southeast Kansas is beautiful. I did take a break long enough to go for a walk so I won't permanently become part of my reading chair.

While I was waiting for the latest proof copy, something suddenly occurred to me: I haven't yet released even the slightest description of In the Shadows! I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier, but at least I thought of it before I actually publish the novel.

So here is the cover blurb (fanfare optional):
Assassins are after Captain Ben Lamont and his co-pilot, someone has set an ambush for the crew of Penumbra, and there's a mysterious new wormhole at the edge of explored space.
Lamont has a lot to deal with, but he's determined to find out if they're connected and who's behind them. He'll stop at nothing ... until one of his crew members must make a terrible choice to expose the truth.
Then Lamont must decide: how far will he go for the answers?

I hope that piques your interest. There will be some new characters and you'll learn more about some of the regulars. As usual, I tried to throw a little action in there, too.

Stay tuned! (And please help me spread the word as we get closer to the release.)

Sean

(SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't read Another Shot yet, you might not want to read this post.)

I think I always knew that Sean wouldn't stay with the crew.

How many times have you seen a movie or read a book where the main character gets snatched from his/her surroundings and thrown into a completely foreign situation? After a bunch of adventures, the character decides that this is where he/she belongs, no matter what his/her original plans might have been.

It always troubled me a little. I mean, sometimes the writer goes to great pains to let us know that this character is much better off this way, instead of in the dreary life that was abandoned, but sometimes it's not clear. And I always wondered what that character might have achieved in that original life.

So, being the stubborn person I am, I decided that my main character would not only have a good goal in life (teaching), he would also continue to pursue it, even after meeting Lamont's crew and acknowledging the importance of what they do. Sean didn't really fit in with them anyway, no matter what Hawkins might think, and it wouldn't have made a lot of sense for him to stay.

Some of my readers have expressed surprise at Sean's fading into the background. "Isn't the series about Sean?" they ask.

Well, no, not really. Sean is our introduction to the crew and he's a major character of the first novel, Outsider, that is true ... but he was always just one of the characters. Anybody who's willing to destroy the ship that her first novel was named after is going to be willing to jettison a major character. Call me brave or call me stupid ... it seems more true to the story that way.

Don't worry, though. You haven't seen the last of Sean. He's sure to pop up sometime in the future.

Closet Spaceship Part 9

   I walked down the corridor in search of Nick, who was hiding out in the dining hall.  When I peeked through the doorway, I saw him slouched in a chair, holding a cup of coffee as if it were a pistol pointing in my direction.

   I raised both hands.  “May I come in?”

   He shrugged.

   I walked in and sat across the table from him.

   “You could just shoot me,” I said. “Although not with that.”

   The coffee cup clanked onto the table.

   “What do you want?” he asked.

   “I don’t know,” I said. “To talk to you, I guess.”

   “So talk.”

   “That’s not what I meant. You want me to go on for a few minutes about writing or something like that? No, you don’t.”

   “No, I don’t,” he said. “What do you think I did?”

   I smiled. “I mostly said that to get you to stop. But there is something: you—”

   “Listen,” he interrupted, “I did exactly what I told the captain. It’s not my fault I got so far away from the landing site. S**t, they act like I really was sightseeing. Reg won’t shut up about it.”

   He was referring to an incident in the first novel, when the captain and Hawkins arrived at the ship’s landing site with some angry colonists in pursuit and didn’t find Outsider there as they expected because Nick was busy trying to evade some colony ships that wanted to shoot him down. (If you want more details, read the novel. What else do you expect me to say?)

   “I know what you did there, Nick,” I said. “You had two ships on your tail, so you did what you had to do. Nobody faults you for that.”

   “So what, then?” he asked.

   I chuckled. “Sean told everybody he gave you the slip.”

   “So what? He did.”

   “Not exactly, did he? I believe your exact words were, ‘Get the hell away from me before I put a few holes in you,’ weren’t they? Oh, and something about a dumb kid.”

   Nick looked uncomfortable. “He tell you that?”

   “No, dummy,” I said, “I was there, remember? You can deny it all you want, but I heard what you said. He didn’t give you the slip; you sent him away. Not that he minded. He would have gone anyway, so maybe you should have been a little more patient.”

   Nick scoffed.

   “I know,” I said. “Patient isn’t exactly in your character profile.”

   “S**t,” he said.

   “Listen, Nick,” I said. “I’m not going to tell anybody. I’m not here to get you or anyone in trouble. I’m not going to run to the captain every time somebody ignores an alarm or does something stupid. He probably already knows anyway.  That’s not why I’m here.”

   “So why are you here?” he demanded. “Why don’t you just leave us alone?”

   “Because I’m a writer,” I said, “and because you won’t leave me alone.”

   He looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”

   “You don’t get it,” I said. “If you want me to stop coming, get a boring job and be boring yourself. Then we can leave each other alone. Until then, we’re stuck with each other.”

   It’s true: I’ve tried a few times to leave the crew behind, but it didn’t work. Someday I might stop writing about them, but they’ll never leave me completely.

   “Go on,” I said. “I know there’s a poker game upstairs.”

   When Nick left, he was walking, not running, so I suppose that’s progress.  We’ll see.

The Latest Title

I've been writing a little about the third novel lately and it occurred to me that I haven't revealed the title of it yet. Are you interested? Read on!

I was doing a reasonable job of keeping the title a secret until a couple of people asked me flat out what it is ... so I told them. Now it just doesn't seem fair to keep it to myself any longer.

Here goes: the title of the third novel is In The Shadows.

As you might guess, I play around a lot with darkness and light in this one. You might recall that Penumbra, the name of Lamont's ship, means an area of shadow that's between the darkest shadow and the light, so it made sense to me that I should explore that a little more.

I'm still rewriting, which is the fun part: I get to play around with scenes and words to see what I can come up with. Eventually, however, I'll have to decide that I've done what I can and it's time to format the final product.

Stay tuned!

Closet Spaceship Part 7

(Here's another installment about my interaction with the crew. Check out my Facebook page for some of their sayings.)

After the events in Outsider, I wanted to see Mark, but I didn’t think that was a good idea, for him or the rest of the crew. No matter what his reasons were, he left the crew—and his absence made the ship feel like a street where an ambulance has just passed, its siren blaring and its lights flashing. Vehicles that were crouched next to the curb can resume their courses, but the drivers feel the unnatural silence left after the siren tore the air apart. They wonder where the ambulance is going and what the consequences are at the end of its journey. They won’t talk about it because they have their own paths to follow, but still their eyes try to catch a last glimpse that might give them a clue to its destination.

Maybe I’m a little afraid of showing up in Mark’s presence, too. You saw his reaction to Sean’s appearance, after all. Sean was improbable; I’m almost impossible, as far as Mark is concerned.

On the other hand, Reggie never seems to mind my presence, at least after that first time. I don’t know why. He’s better at reading people than anyone, except Captain Lamont, of course, but I’ve always been afraid to ask him what he reads in me.

“Do you miss Mark?” I asked him once. (This was before the events in Another Shot.)

He gave me a sharp look, as if asking why I don’t have his skill at reading people.

We were alone, sitting in the conference room. He’d led me there without a word when I walked up to him in the dock and asked if we could talk. He’d poured himself a cup of coffee and settled into one of the more comfortable chairs on one side of the room, so I sat in a chair nearby.

I found it strange for us to be there. Reg is usually on the move, so seeing him sitting in one place was a little unsettling. Of course, having him give me that look didn’t help.

“That’s a dumb question,” he said.

And it was. It’s obvious he and Mark are good friends, and have been since they met at an airport in the middle of the night. If you read my first novel, you know a little about how they met, and ever since then, despite their differences, they’ve kept in touch. They respect and trust each other; at least, Mark does. I guess I didn’t know for sure if Reg could trust his friend again after Mark quit the crew.

 It’s one of the very rare instances when Captain Lamont and Reg got it wrong: Mark didn’t quit because he felt he had to punish himself. He quit because he didn’t think he deserved to be on such an elite crew; he hadn’t earned a place there. He’s always been hard on himself—I can relate to that—and didn’t see that the crew considered him one of them.

“I know it is,” I said. “Sorry.”

I meant to explain some of Mark’s motives to Reg, but he spoke up before I could.

“Let me ask you something,” he said.

“Sure.”

“Will I see him again?” Reggie asked.

I was surprised. Surely the captain had instructed his crew not to ask me stuff like that.

“I know I’m not supposed to ask you that,” he said, leaning toward me, “but I need to know.”

“I’m not supposed to tell you,” I said.

When I said it, his shoulders drooped and he kind of sagged back into the chair. I might be a lot of things, some of them not so great, but I’m definitely not made of ice.

“Listen,” I said in a low voice, “you will.  That’s all I can tell you.”

He nodded with an expression like that of a young boy whose friends have said Santa is fake but whose parents swear Santa’s real: he wants to believe, so his parents win out—this time, at least.

And that’s one of Reggie’s best attributes: hope. He hopes for the best, even when things don’t look good.

I was simply hoping that lightning wouldn’t strike me down and Captain Lamont wouldn’t ban me from the ship for breaking one of his rules. When I saw that little glimmer of hope on Reg’s face, though, I knew either one just might be worth it.

Keep hoping.